Screenwriting Time!

Just a little while ago I decided to really venture into the world of screenwriting. It's been about as productive as my usual writing these days in that I'm frequently distracted and spread too thin, but when I do get the chance to work on it, it's rather fun. Sometimes I find that it's much easier for me to fill up pages of screenplay than it is for me to fill up pages of novel, and sometimes it's vice versa.

I assume that any of you who watched 30 Rock are quite familiar with the EGOT, which is to win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. The two groups of people for whom it is easiest to EGOT are composers and writers. Think about it: you can write a TV show, you can write a song, you can write a movie, and you can write a play or a musical. Since I'm about as good at songwriting as I am at any of that ridiculous duct tape art, I'm going for another goal instead: the ePot. You substitute a Pulitzer for a Grammy, and it's capitalized that way because it's so much more fun. It's also more fun to say.

For those of you who think screenwriting might be fun but haven't a clue how the proper formatting is supposed to go and don't have $200 to spend on software that does it for you, the basics are at http://www.screenwriting.info/

Back to Basics

Many great writers in their time wrote longhand. For quite a while after that, typewriters were the main form of literary writing. Now most of use use laptops or desktops. I'm sure there are even a couple of writers out there who use a tablet. Sometimes it can be nice to get back to the old forms of writing. I usually write out the first draft of a short story in a composition book, and just the other day I wrote out the first chapter of a book on the Civil War on a manual typewriter. But is it really the best idea?

• Fantasy: As long as you have The Writer's Complete Fantasy Reference, you should be okay without a computer. I recommend an electric typewriter to do the job, though, as it types just as fast as a computer for when inspiration strikes.
• Horror: If your horror is firmly rooted in history, then it might be good to have the internet at hand. Otherwise, go crazy! A manual typewriter or longhand would work best to give it an old-timey, slightly creepy feel.
• Science fiction: Write on a computer if it's hard SF, but if you don't care anymore use an electric typewriter.
• Historical fiction: If you feel confident that you know what you're talking about, feel free to use a manual typewriter. However, I recommend that you keep a few reference materials around in case you hit a dead zone.
• Mainstream fiction: You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. Sometimes not having the Internet around can be a blessing with a lack of distractions, but other times it may be the most natural to have a keyboard.
• Memoirs: Whatever you can write the fastest with. It's much easier to write a memoir when you just clear your mind and think of your life. I don't think pen and paper is the best choice, though, because it's much too easy to get writer's cramp.
• Nonfiction: Unless you have Internet sources, you should be fine with some kind of typewriter.

Character Questionnaire

I just read an article in The Writer about how character questionnaires can help you develop characters and keep them from being too much like you. Today's post is mainly a directory of links to help you find questionnaires.

• http://www.writingclasses.com/InformationPages/index.php/PageID/106
• http://thescriptlab.com/screenwriting/character/creating-characters/23-character-questionnaire
• http://robdyoung.com/fleshy-character-questionnaire/
• http://www.springhole.net/writing/character-questions.htm
• http://www.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=14402

However, I also have a character questionnaire for you. It is meant to be answered in the first person of your character.

1. What is your full name? Do you wish that you could change it? How was it decided? Do you have any nicknames? How did you get them?
2. How old are you? What day were you born? What are your three astrological signs (Greek, Chinese, and Celtic)? Do you think that they fit you?
3. Describe your height, weight, build, hair, eyes, and skin. Include any oddities, such as freckles, tattoos, piercings, or injuries.
4. What kind of clothes do you feel most comfortable in? Least comfortable? Describe your favorite outfit.
5. How do you walk? Fast? Slow? Large or small gait? In a straight line or zigzagging? Distractedly? Determinedly?
6. How do you speak? Quickly? Slowly? An accent? Do you use profanity or vulgarity frequently? Do you use filler words like "like" or "um" frequently? Do you ramble or keep it short?
7. What kinds of things make you happy? Sad? Angry? What are your responses to happiness, sadness, and anger? Do you laugh, cry, lash out, or do you keep it within?
8. Do you have a religion? If so, what is it? Are you a devout practitioner or just say that you are and acknowledge the beliefs? Are you tolerant of other cultures?
9. What is your favorite food, color, film, book, and television show? What about your least favorite of each?
10. What type of person are you attracted to? Not just men, women, or both, but things like what kind of hair they have, what kind of humor they have, etc.
11. Who was your closest friend as a child? Teenager? Now? Do the types of people you surround yourself with change with age and location?
12. What is your biggest goal? Motivation? Virtue? Vice? Are you more of a nihilist and don't really care about that?
13. What is your MBTI personality type?
14. Do you have any physical or mental disorders that have been confirmed by a doctor? Do you think that you might have one, but everyone around you laughs it off? Do you think that you're a hypochondriac? Do other people think you are?
15. Do you ever lie to get a specific answer at a quiz? For example, if you're taking a "what kind of animal are you" test, do you lie to get your favorite animal?
16. What is the one question that you won't answer?

Bad Air

After finally landing after possibly the worst flight of my life, where I was delayed for eight and a half hours and received horrible compensation, I feel inspired for a prompt: write about the worst experience flying you've ever had and then write how your character would handle the same situation. Tate would probably threaten to hurt someone and be taken away by security.

Dealing With Conflicting Beliefs

Douglas Adams, who I wrote about the other day, is a radical atheist. Orson Scott Card, author of Ender's Game, recently came out as being homophobic. How do you deal with an author you like who has a belief conflicting to yours?

The easy answer is to focus on not the author, but their work. I don't think that Ender Wiggin ever beat up a gay kid at Battle School (I don't know, I haven't read the series). Jesus and God come up once each in the first Hitchhiker's book, but neither are completely atheistic. The first is when it says "nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change". It's not exactly promoting Christianity, but it isn't calling Jesus a sham either. When the Babel fish, which translates for you, is being discussed, a story is mentioned in which due to the Babel fish, it is proof that God exists, and coincidentally he does not. However, the next sentence is "Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys."

If an author does happen to mention something that you personally disagree with in their writing, it becomes your choice as to whether you should continue reading or if you are simply going to disagree with him/her (although both the examples mentioned are he) and keep going.

Happy Belated Birthday, Douglas Adams!

March 11 would have been Douglas Adams's 61st birthday, had he not died of a heart attack in 2001. His work with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is his most popular work, but everything that he has written involves a heavy hand of humor and whimsy that turned him into a hipster cult phenomenon. Who knows what he would have done had he been alive now?

Give the Dog a Biscuit

February 23 is National Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day! In honor of the holiday, I have a prompt. A man walks into a pet store with his Tamaskan Dog (hooray obscure dog breeds!) and they look around the dog treat section. The man picks one up and asks the Tamaskan, "What about this one?" The dogs says that it has too many calories and doesn't defend against tartar. A clerk comes over and asks if he's looking for anything specific, and the Tamaskan says to the clerk, "Yeah, this guy over here is all out of treats and he won't shut up about it! What kind of biscuit is right for humans?"

Take it from there.