Screenwriting Time!

Just a little while ago I decided to really venture into the world of screenwriting. It's been about as productive as my usual writing these days in that I'm frequently distracted and spread too thin, but when I do get the chance to work on it, it's rather fun. Sometimes I find that it's much easier for me to fill up pages of screenplay than it is for me to fill up pages of novel, and sometimes it's vice versa.

I assume that any of you who watched 30 Rock are quite familiar with the EGOT, which is to win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. The two groups of people for whom it is easiest to EGOT are composers and writers. Think about it: you can write a TV show, you can write a song, you can write a movie, and you can write a play or a musical. Since I'm about as good at songwriting as I am at any of that ridiculous duct tape art, I'm going for another goal instead: the ePot. You substitute a Pulitzer for a Grammy, and it's capitalized that way because it's so much more fun. It's also more fun to say.

For those of you who think screenwriting might be fun but haven't a clue how the proper formatting is supposed to go and don't have $200 to spend on software that does it for you, the basics are at http://www.screenwriting.info/

Back to Basics

Many great writers in their time wrote longhand. For quite a while after that, typewriters were the main form of literary writing. Now most of use use laptops or desktops. I'm sure there are even a couple of writers out there who use a tablet. Sometimes it can be nice to get back to the old forms of writing. I usually write out the first draft of a short story in a composition book, and just the other day I wrote out the first chapter of a book on the Civil War on a manual typewriter. But is it really the best idea?

• Fantasy: As long as you have The Writer's Complete Fantasy Reference, you should be okay without a computer. I recommend an electric typewriter to do the job, though, as it types just as fast as a computer for when inspiration strikes.
• Horror: If your horror is firmly rooted in history, then it might be good to have the internet at hand. Otherwise, go crazy! A manual typewriter or longhand would work best to give it an old-timey, slightly creepy feel.
• Science fiction: Write on a computer if it's hard SF, but if you don't care anymore use an electric typewriter.
• Historical fiction: If you feel confident that you know what you're talking about, feel free to use a manual typewriter. However, I recommend that you keep a few reference materials around in case you hit a dead zone.
• Mainstream fiction: You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. Sometimes not having the Internet around can be a blessing with a lack of distractions, but other times it may be the most natural to have a keyboard.
• Memoirs: Whatever you can write the fastest with. It's much easier to write a memoir when you just clear your mind and think of your life. I don't think pen and paper is the best choice, though, because it's much too easy to get writer's cramp.
• Nonfiction: Unless you have Internet sources, you should be fine with some kind of typewriter.

Don't Have a Not Sad Day (cad é?)

January 25th is National Opposite Day! So for today I would like you to write a paragraph from your book again, but with genders and roles switched. So if you have a female hero against a male villain, it's now a male villain against a female hero. However, keep any physical characteristics that would stay in the case of a gender switch, such as hair and eye color, build, and height proportions. (So if you were transferring a male to a female, they wouldn't be 6'4", but probably around 5'11".)

In addition, due to a ridiculously busy schedule I probably won't be able to post Mondays anymore, with few exceptions. Sorry.

P.S. The language in the title is Irish. It translates to "what?", as I'm sure you might have imagined. I was originally going to do "qué?", the Spanish, but I prefer Irish.

Close Enough

This is wonderful.

January 18 is National Polygraph Day. I decided to give you, as a writer, another kind of test. The Mary-Sue Litmus Test. This is a test designed to figure out whether your character is guilty of being a Mary-Sue, or "perfect" character. There are three main types: average, who is perfect in every way, shape, and form; clone, which is the author inserting themselves into a main character; and trauma, who has had an undeserved amount of abuse, has infinite mental disorders, and uses that as an excuse to either do horrible things or cry in a corner the whole time.

The most in-depth and my favorite is http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm, but a close second is http://www.katfeete.net/writing/marysue.html. Please note that those two strictly apply to humanoid creatures. For a wolf one, I found http://quizilla.teennick.com/quizzes/8164465/the-mary-sue-test-wolf-versionrequired-for-entrance-to-ethereal. While it is supposed to be for entrance to a roleplay, you can still get a pretty accurate score.

If you're looking to find out if a whole race in your fantasy story is too perfect, you may be looking for http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysuerace.htm.

Cars on Ropes--What Could Go Wrong?

January 17 is National Cable Car Day, so here are some fun facts about that transportation should it be vital to your characters.

• A trolley is six tons.
• The speed of a trolley is 9 1/2 mph.
• In San Francisco, there are 40 cars in service: 28 "single-enders" and 12 "double-enders".
• San Francisco trolleys have up to 26 passengers at a time on weekdays, but have the potential for carrying up to 60.
• More women are likely to work as a grip operator for a cable car.
• The first cable car line was created in 1873.
• A woman in 1964 sued the city of San Francisco for a mechanical failure that she claims gave her a black eye, bruises, and a brain injury that turned her into a nymphomaniac.

I had to leave you on an interesting note like that.

New Year's Resolutions

A snowman coming to life to tell
you happy 2013: not the best
start to the year.

New Year's Resolutions. Everybody has them, and they're usually ditched by sometime in mid-January. The lucky get to February. I made mine to late October when I realized that it was futile, but I'm trying again this year.

So for today's activity you're going to be doing resolutions for both yourself and the character that you're working on. You must have one writing-themed resolution, not just "lose 30 pounds" or something like that. List them in the comments if you so choose.

My resolutions:

1. Finish the first draft of Wolf at the Door
2. Finish every Stephen King book (this was last year's resolution that I made it until mid-October with. I got to The Tommyknockers, but it was so boring I decided it could wait until next year).

Tate's resolutions (from Wolf at the Door)

1. Take down a bull moose.
2. Stop Felan from bashing his brains out in football (futile)
3. Crank out a short story or two.
4. Finish the commission that I've been sitting on for three months (why am I putting this off? It's $350!)
5. Get a real job.

Enjoy Yourself

This works wonders for your stress.

Sometimes it feels like writing can be the most stressful thing in the world, especially if you're well-respected or working under a deadline. It can also be stressful if you're unpublished and hope someone out there likes your work. You can feel that you have to be the best and put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. You don't have to feel this way. Enjoy yourself. Here are some tips:

1. Listen to music. I do this while I write as well as when I'm just working out some kinks. My favorites are the Sondheim musical Assassins and Green Day. Who says that you can't have a little hardcore protest music to liven up your days?
2. Write something horrible. Yes, seriously. Delve into your most hated genre (historical romance for me) and try to make something good out of it. Even if you think that it's the worst thing ever, this will clear your head. Not to mention, if you think something else you write is horrible, you can remind yourself that it's not what you wrote then.
3. Read something horrible. This ties in with the previous one in that, if you think that whatever you write is horrible, you can always remind yourself that something worse out there got punished. I don't always recommend this if you're awaiting an agent or publisher's word, as if you get rejected this reminder can have the wrong effect.
4. Play some (non-frustrating) video game. Do something simple that you've already cracked, if possible. For example, I wouldn't jump right into The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword if I were trying not to get stressed, as I know that there's a Skulltula waiting to defeat me that I have found it impossible to crack. (For those wanting to post hints, no need. I've watched every tutorial video and still can't pull it off.)
5. Finally, start up a blog. It can be about anything you want: a continuing serial, book reviews, writing advice, or your daily life. Please don't make it about hating a specific person, and if you do don't blame it on me. I do not advocate this. You can make something faceless about how you hate vampires, but try to do something out of the ordinary. Comparing Barlow to Twilight original.

Basics

This is a space opera. This is not
what I want you to write.

Someone will read what you write. This is guaranteed. They may not like what they read, but they will pick it up and read it. They may not even crack the book open, just look at the back, but this counts as reading.

That being said, my goal for you is to make sure that they do more than just look at the back and decide that this work is horrible. My goal is to help push your writing over the top. I can't guarantee that you'll be a bestseller. I can't guarantee that people aren't still going to look at the back and decide that it's not what they want to read. That will happen anyway.


Part of that is title, which will be discussed later, but that's beside the point. I want your writing to be something that is recommended to a reader's friends as one of the greatest books of all time, not just another space opera or fantasy novel about an orphan boy who discovers that he has mystical powers and gets the girl in the end.

My goal is to get you to create art.